I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
