You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
