I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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