Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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