You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
