i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
