ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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