I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
