Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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