Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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