His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
