so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
