And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
