If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just gift wrapped bread.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Dignity is for republicans.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
