When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think a kid would responsible me up
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
