what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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