This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
