so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
