He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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