I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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