bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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