I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
