Sponge bath it is.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
