She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
