I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
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