You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
