My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
