she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
