it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
