guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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