This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
