We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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