Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
