Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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