I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
