No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
