are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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