Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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