So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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