I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
