i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
