dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i think i have herpe
just one?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
