I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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