Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
