from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
