I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I smell stomach acid.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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