So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
