My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize
