what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize