How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
