walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize