News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
