Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
